a heads up

from time to time i experience a timespan where i feel like i am just drifting, even though i have ideas and feel inspired, i find myself not able to “just do it”. i am in such a headspace now and have been since a while.
it also has to do with having lost our dog Ce-Ge in february, he was such a dear friend and i still can’t completely grasp that he is gone.
then in the end of april Calle’s grandmother (Cia’s mom) Greta passed away. she had been such an active woman, always up to something, whether it was traveling or swimming in the sea even in winter. she fell in early april, and from then on she kept feeling dizzy and nauseous when being upright. with each week that she was at the home for rehabilitation it got worse, at first she still sat up and even got up and walked, but progressively she didn’t move from the bed anymore, and she talked lower and lower until eventually she only mumbled while we tried to guess what she was saying. she had a fulfilled life and we all are glad that she wasn’t bedridden for very long, we know that being her active and stubborn self, she would not have liked to have to lie in bed day in day out for a long time. she passed away very peacefully, simply falling asleep.
we knew it would happen, and we said goodbye. we were and are ok, it was her time we all feel. but yet it’s hard to realize someone is not around anymore.
often having been in such a drifting headspace, such experiences seem to make them stay for longer.

i wish to participate more in the Enchanted Doll forum and online generally, but i am aware that i can’t force something that needs time. i am ok mostly, i am still able to be happy, and humour always helps me, but i wanted to give anyone who might wonder this heads up that i’m not completely here all the time.
this happens to me from time to time even if there have not been any deaths or immediate causes for it, but this time around there are causes too.

to the ED forum people i want to say that i am sad that i am like this now when there are all the lovely anniversary celebrations on the forum.
i am planning to enter the contests hosted by Paige, Monika and Ama+Amal, i love these contests and am very inspired and have plans in my head. hopefully i can participate in them all.

i have so many things planned that i want to do with Iðunn, photoshoots, clothing, etc. and sometimes it drives me crazy that i can’t just do it, but i need time now, to allow myself to do things when it feels right, instead of forcing something.

so i am here and mostly ok but now you know why i am not as active as i used to be or would wish to be.
love to all ♥


8 Responses to “a heads up”

  1. the noxeh Says:

    *hugs* I fall in to a terrible sort of rut sometimes, dunno if it’s the same as yours, but it seems like it might be at least similar. *hugs again* Sorry to hear there are causes behind this particular one. *hugs AGAIN!* I hope you’re back to your wonderfully brilliant, active, bright and bubbly self soonly. (yay for new wordage!) *hugs once more*

    will be thinking of you!

  2. Annina Says:

    thank you Noxy, i’m so glad to know you! :)
    yes it feels like a rut, i’m sure it’s similar. these things are so weird, because you want to do stuff but then you end up just not having the energy to do it, even though i’m young and healthy. but i’m not judging myself about it anymore, i know that things can’t be forced and when it’s time i’ll be back to my bubbly self (funny you used this word, it’s how i see myself :)

  3. malfraedi Says:

    your “drifting headspace” sounds like a healthy way to be when there’s so much to deal with.

    i’m very sorry to hear about Greta. much love to you and Calle. xo

  4. Annina Says:

    thank you Nikki ♥

  5. Tororo Says:

    This year’s beginning has been a trying time… I send much love to you all!

  6. Annina Says:

    thanks Tororo ♥

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